Finding the Funny in Flossing

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April is National Oral Health month here in Canada. And I imagine dentists from across the country are discussing gums, gingivitis, and golf.

In honor of this month, I’ve revived a letter from my dentist’s Continuing Care Co-ordinator that I received in February. I know Dr. P enjoys a sense of humor. He always tries to engage me in conversation while he’s prodding my molars with his dental explorer. So I thought a humor edit of the letter from his office would be good for a chortle. Here goes…(my edits in bold)

Dear Gay,

In order to maintain good dental health, your teeth and gums should be examined on a regular basis. This way we are able to prevent small concerns from becoming problems. Most patients agree they prefer our hygienist’s gentle scaling technique to her plaque busting jack hammer moves. Less work on your teeth means less pain for you, your finances, and our hygienist.

Our records indicate that you were due for your regular examination and hygiene visit in August 2014. Booking an appointment now ensures the doctor has time available during golf season. I tried to contact you but have been unable to reach you. We suspect calling during regular telemarketing hours is a problem. We are also aware that our calls create stress and are investigating four and five year financing options for our patients. If you book now, we’ll give you free dental floss and a toothbrush with Dr P’s name embossed.

I would be pleased to schedule an appointment for you: however, if I do not hear from you by month-end, I will consider that you no longer wish to be contacted for regular hygiene appointments, and leave it up to you to call us. As the saying goes, don’t call us, we won’t call you.

Sincerely yours,

Continuing Care Co-ordinator

Okay, so maybe this remake won’t see Canada Post. But adding some humor to the letter was therapeutic, and it gave me a chance to dig out some old cartoons I did back in 2008. In comedy, I learned it’s safe to poke fun at those in higher positions than us. What do you think?

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